Change
by LaceyDean
Summary: Logan and Kendall have been friends since forever. They're practically brothers. But when Kendall starts having weird feelings for Logan, feelings that brothers shouldn't have, will their friendship collapse? Or turn into something bigger?
1. Kendall

**I had this one on my mind for a while now but didn't know how to approach it.**

**I think I'm on a roll today. 3 updates in one day. And on Christmas too!**

**In this story, I made Logan taller than Kendall. It seemed appropriate to me.**

**Enjoy!**

(Kendall POV)

As I glanced around the big, half – empty hockey rink for my other teammates, I noticed something in my peripheral vision. A puck. Coming right at me. I noticed that its original receiver was supposed to be Logan…. I also noticed that it was the perfect opportunity for an interception.

I received the l (just like I always do) and began to run towards the goal at the end of the rink. This was how it always went. Me, my step - brother James, my somewhat close friend Carlos, and my best friend Logan went to this rink every Friday after school to play some two-on-two hockey. Carlos couldn't hit worth a crap and either me or James always intercepted him. You'd think Logan would learn by now not to let Carlos pass the puck….

I could hear the thump of feet just to my left, but what really clued me in as to who was trying to tackle me was the lavender scent they were wearing as it wafted with the wind to me. It was Logan, of course. He always smelled like a girl and the rest of us have always given him crap for it. It was surprising that he still smelled sweet despite being soaked with sweat. Maybe he washed his clothes with that shit. We've actually had an ongoing and amiable friendship for as long as I can remember….

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><p>*<em>Flashback*<em>

"_Kendall, sweetie," my mother called from the hallway. "Want to come with me to visit the new neighbors?"_

No, _I wanted to say._They'll probably think we're all stuck-up because we have money. That always happens.

"_Can't you get James to go with you?" I whined._

"_Kendall, you know he's got the flu." She appeared in my doorway, holding some of her casserole. I guessed it was for the new neighbors. "C'mon, it will only take a few minutes," she said, smiling that smile of hers that said 'I'm not asking you, I'm telling you.'_

_I sulked, but reluctantly got off my bed and trudged down the stairs with a scowl on my face. With my luck, the new neighbors will probably have some nine year old girly girl who wants to play Barbies. I don't need another Camille in the town. One baby sister was enough for me._

_My mom looked down at me as we walked across the street. "It's a boy this time," she said, practically reading my mind._

_I silently thanked her. We have enough girls in our neighborhood- Cami, Jo, Stephanie and a bunch of others whose names I don't know and don't care to know either. But whenever I see them, they always blush and giggle at me._

_Faster than I thought, we were standing in front of a nice little brick house with a bright blue door. My mom rang the doorbell and I waited anxiously to see who would answer._

_It was a girl. But an adult girl. She looked nice. Long, dark hair, brown eyes, smiling face._

"_Hello," she said sweetly. She looked at the casserole. "My, that looks delicious. Please, come on in." She opened the door wider so me and mom could come in. "I think Logan is excited to meet you."_

_I saw a rather tall, but obviously young, boy come down the carpeted stairs. The first thing that popped into my head when I saw him was 'nerd.' He had a medical journal in his hands. The second thing that popped into my head was 'friendly.' He smiled at me and shook my hand without his mom telling him to._

"_Hi!" he said cheerfully. "I'm Logan."_

_I looked down at his hand. Do ten year olds usually shake other ten year olds' hands? I wasn't sure what to do so I just shook his hand back and muttered my name to him._

_I didn't know it then, but as it turns out, Logan and I had a lot in common…. Besides the whole medical journal thing._

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><p>I was snapped out of my flashback by someone tackling me to the ground. Logan. I need to stop daydreaming, it's getting me into trouble.<p>

We both collapsed on the ground and I fumbled my stick and the puck. James and Carlos came up to us and (while Carlos was laughing at my epic failure) James happily walked up and whacked it into the goal.

"Hey," Carlos called out to him. "That's not fair!"

James smirked at him. "It is to fair," he said. "Clumsy Kendall here," he pointed at me, "fumbled with the damn puck _again_, and I, being my wonderful self, hit it and scored the winning goal. HA!"

I wasn't exactly paying attention to my gloating, self-centered brother. I had a bit of a um… situation. Logan was still on top of me in an awkward position and my pants had suddenly gotten tighter, if ya know what I mean….

This has been happening to me for the past few weeks. I've been having these… weird feelings about him. I mean, he's gay and we're all ok with that, but I'M not gay. It's probably just a phase or something, I'll get over it. It was just puberty messing with my hormones and all that stuff… Right?

My pants loosened up as Logan got off of me. He lowered his hand to me and I gladly took it, hoisting myself up.

"Y'know, Carlos," I said, hoping I wasn't blushing enough to make it noticeable underneath my already red and sweaty face. "What James did was actually completely legal. You just weren't smart enough to do it yourself."

James and I bumped fists while Carlos just glared at us. He turned to Logan and said, "Wasn't that illegal?"

Logan shook his head. "Sorry. Completely legal."

"Whatever," Carlos grumbled. "You guys suck."

James laughed. "Oh, no," he said. "I don't suck… But I'm not so sure about this one over here," he said, pointing to Logan. It took me a little while to get what he was saying.

Yeah, sometimes we tease each other and sometimes we tease Logan about his sexuality and sometimes he teases us about liking girls. No feeling were ever hurt, it was just the way we interacted with each other.

Logan stared off into space with a bored expression, as if he didn't know he was being spoken to. Then he suddenly snapped his head toward James and looked at him with a fake shocked look. "Oh I'm sorry, were you talking to me?" he asked. "I thought you were talkin' to your mom over there."

"Ouch Logie," James said, feigning hurt. "That one hurt me. Right here." He pointed to his heart.

"You see," Carlos said, casually throwing his arm around Logan's shoulder, though with some difficulty because Carlos was rather short compared to Logan. Everyone was short compared to Logan. "This is why I chose Logan to be on my team. He has the best comebacks. That's why we're the better team."

I piped up now. "If you're the better team, then how come _we_just won, hmm?"

"Uh," Carlos said, looking around. "No comment."

Smirking, James said, "Exactly. Me and my bro are the best… when he can hold on to the puck."

I just shook my head and looked at my now grass stained watch. It was nearly eleven. Curfew was half past eleven. Not wanting mom to freak out, I turned to James and said, "Hey, we better get going. Mom will be _pissed_ if we break curfew…like we did on Wednesday."

"Wednesday was not my fault," James pointed out.

All three of us gave him a look. "James, you forgot to fill up the car and we broke down," I said.

"Yeah," Carlos joined in. "My mom almost killed me."

"Not to mention, you just absolutely _had_ to pee so we stopped at that sketchy convenience store," Logan added.

"And you came back twenty minutes later with the owner screaming at you," I said.

"And two girls, who I assume were hookers, hanging on your arm," Carlos finished.

James was silent for a minute, thinking this over. "Well," he finally said. "It's not my fault the ladies throw themselves at me."

Groaning, I grabbed his elbow and steered him in the direction of our house. "I'll see you guys Monday," I called back to Carlos and Logan.

And then something really weird happened. We all did those 'guy hugs' to say bye. You know those ones where you shake hands and then pull in to slap each other on the back? Well, when Logan and I did that, I shivered. It wasn't even cold out. Just the way he touched me made me want to give him a real hug. Just to see what it felt like. But, I didn't. That would cause some serious questions that I didn't want to answer, to come up. Logan must have noticed my shiver because he raised his eyebrow and gave me a look before turning away and walking to his house.

I decided to just shrug it off and go home. Maybe all I needed was some sleep…

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><p><strong>What do ya'll think? Should I continue?<strong>

**Review and tell me what you think!**

**Best Regards**

**Lacey**


	2. James

**A/N Shoutout to **_ChelziSchmidtXD,__MadChile1008 _**and** _AnaDaemon_ **for being awesome! and to** _ChelziSchmidtXD -_ **I'M NOT AN IDIOT!**

**ENJOY!**

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><p>(Kendall POV)<p>

I grimaced as I looked down at the mountainous pile of papers, textbooks, folders, notebooks, and mechanical pencils on my bed. Homework. It was worse than I had originally intended it to be. I could always put it off till tomorrow…. But then my mom would bug me until I did it. I just won't tell her. That's not exactly lying… It's just not telling.

I had just gotten back from the rink and was still a little shaken up about the whole Logan thing. I took a nice, long, _cold_ shower, but my mind was still focused on him. It would be impossible to do my crap-ton of homework when I was so…. Confused.

"Kendall?" I heard a small voice say from my doorway.

I looked up and saw my little sister, Jenna. She was standing there looking tiny with her pink nightgown. She was only nine and loved to read fairy tales and other stuff involving princesses. It was kind of weird to me, but cute. In a way.

"Are you busy?" she asked.

I contemplated this repeatedly. I could either say yes and have to do my obscene amounts of homework, or say no and be forced to read unbelievably girly stories. I chose the princesses. Anything is better than homework…. except being in the same room with Katie when she's painting her nails. *shudder* Which isn't even often.

"Not anymore," I said. I took my arm and slid it across my bed, pushing all of my homework onto the floor. I smiled and patted the edge of my bed, gesturing for her to come over. "What's up?"

She looked considerably happier when she sat next to me. Jenna held something out in front of me and I recognized it as her favorite story book, 'The Pretty Princess and Her Magic Pony'. "Can you read it to me?" she asked.

"Sure, Jen," I said kindly. I couldn't deny her when he looked so cute. Who says no to a little nine year old kid? That's right, no one.

So, I sat there with my little sis and read her a story book I didn't understand for more than an hour until she fell asleep. In _my_ bed. I didn't have the heart to wake her up and make her move, so I decided on simply picking her up and carrying her to her room. James nearly knocked me over when I was out in the hallway.

"Hey!" he shouted. "Guess What?"

"James," I whispered, irritated. "Can this wait? I'm a little busy, as you can see."

He looked down at the sleeping Jenna in my arms and then back up at me. "Busy with what?" he asked.

The worst part was that he was completely serious. Sometimes I don't understand why I hang out with James.

"Are you dense?" I asked.

That just made him even more confused. "What?"

I sighed. "You just answered my question," I said. "Now, if you could kindly move out of my way so I can put Jenna in her bed, that would be great."

"Well I'll take her there," James said.

I looked at him. I would never trust James with the task of carrying a small child. I pushed past him, but he only followed me. Setting Jenna in her bed and pulling the covers over her, I looked back at James with my eyebrow raised in a 'What the hell do you want?' kind of way.

We both left Jenna's room and went into the hallway to talk about whatever was so important to him.

"Guess what?" he said again.

"Wh-"

He cut me off. "I've got a date with the hottest girl _ever_!"

Typical James. One day Amelia was the hottest girl _ever_ then the next day it was Chelsie, then Krystal, then Leah and so on. The longest I've ever seen him date a girl was a week and a half. The shortest was about ten minutes. If you add alcohol to James, multiply by a party at midnight, and subtract all intelligence, it equals James and his ten-minute-girlfriend.

"That is just absolutely fantastic for you," I said sarcastically, attempting to push him out of my way and go back to my room.

He pulled me back by my elbow. "Hey," he said. "I'm serious this time. This girl is _perfect_."

"That's what you said last week about Raquel," I pointed out. He looked mad at me so I said that just to make him shut up, "What's her name?"

"Camille."

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><p><strong>Bloop and Pip Pip Da Doodley Doo<strong>

**Best Regards,**

**Lacey**


	3. Logan

**So the truth:ChelziSchmidt XD is awesome-er than me!... And maybe Madchile1008... and AnaDaemon...and Wynter-Solstice(not really her)**

**Damn, I must love my fwiends :)**

**...**

**Enjoy :)**

(Logan POV)

I parted from Kendall, James, and Carlos (who was still pouting) to head to the little apartment I shared with my dad. Ever since my mother died, it's just been me and him… and our puppy, Sparks.

Grabbing the key from under the mat (oh how cliché), I made my way up the stairs and to the kitchen. I was about to rummage through the fridge to find some type of junk food to eat when I saw a note on the counter-

_Logan, _

_Had to work late tonight. I'll be home around one or two. There's Chinese food in the fridge._

_-Dad. _

I vaguely noticed that he didn't say 'love you' before he ended the note. I decided to just shrug it off and go take a shower. I was gross and sweaty and smelled like… well sweat. Sweat and I just didn't go together.

I walked into my room and looked through my drawers until I found my favorite pajama pants. They were a gift from my mom…before she passed…

Tossing the pants onto the towel rack, I bent over and turned on the shower nozzle, hoping the water wouldn't take too long to warm up. I was freaking hungry.

Then I heard a very weird sound. It was a cross between a howl and a bark. I looked down into my shower and saw a sopping wet, probably very cold, Sparks.

He had been sleeping in my shower.

"Sparks," I scolded, picking him up. "You know not to sleep in my shower on Fridays." I wrapped him up in a towel and set him in his little puppy house. "Stay," I said, looking at him firmly.

I only stayed in the shower long enough to scrape the dirt off and make me smell not so gross. I was seriously hungry and not at all tired, so I decided to heat up some Chinese food and wait for my dad to come home.

The next thing I remember is waking up on the couch at ten o'clock with the TV on and being utterly confused. I must've fallen asleep on the couch while I was waiting for my dad. I guess he got home, too, because there was a blanket on top of me.

Rubbing sleep out of my eyes, I sat up and looked around. Sure enough, dad was sitting at the table, eating cereal with coffee. My dad was such a strange man. I shook my head and smiled.

"Hey," he said. "Look who's up."

I pushed the blanket off of me and sat next to him. "Yeah, I must've dozed off," I said, getting some cereal for myself. "When'd you get home?"

"About one thirty," he said.

"Oh."

This always happened nowadays. Dad and I would try to start a conversation but it would just end up going nowhere. Sometimes I'd try to pick it up again but neither of us was over Mom's death and I was hardly ever in a talking mood.

"You got any homework?" he asked.

"No," I lied. Hey, it's not like I was gonna do it. Might as well say I didn't have any.

"Well uh," he started. "Maybe you should invite some friends over."

"Well uh," I said, slightly mocking him. "I just saw them last night."

He looked like he was about to say 'Well uh' again, but he stopped himself. "That doesn't mean you can't see them again," he answered instead, cleaning up some of his dishes. "You and that kid you like could go hang out or something. What's his name?"

I knew he was just trying to show some interest in my life, but the last thing I wanted to talk about was Kendall. He's been acting really weird lately and I don't know what his problem is.

But, I did need to talk to my dad more, and if that meant talking about Kendall then fine. So I just sighed and muttered, "His name is Kendall."

"Oh," my dad said. "Well I was close." He picked up my bowl for me and also took it to the sink. "But like I was saying," he continued. "You could always invite over Kendall."

I could tell where he was trying to go with this. "Kendall is straight, dad."

"But he might not be," he said.

I blinked. "What?"

"Most kids don't find out that they're…" He paused. "_Different_ until they get older."

"Dad," I said slowly. "Kendall is 18 and will be going to college next year. I'm pretty sure that if he was gay he would've figured that out by now."

"Well I still think you should invite him over," he said. "You've seemed kind of lonely."

"Yeah, maybe because I'm just one of the few openly gay guys at my school," I muttered.

Apparently he heard me because he said, "Why don't you try talking to one of them?"

"Because." I thought this over. "There are only four others- Jack, Jason, Adam, and Tom," I explained.

"Yeah…and?"

"And," I said. "Jason is dating Jack, Adam hates me, and Tom is fat."

At that point, my dad looked really confused. "Why does Adam hate you?"

"Uh, let's just say that we once had a very complicated relationship," I said. "Look, if I just call Kendall and invite him over, will you drop this whole subject?"

"Only if you take him to lunch," he said.

I sighed, hoping he was kidding, and took out my cell phone. I pressed number one and it automatically dialed Kendall's number. Yes, he was my speed dial number one. What does it matter?

Then I braced myself to see what he was going to say. Rather, what _I _was going to say. How am I supposed to phrase something like that in a way that won't give away the fact that I have a crush on him?

He picked up on the third ring, "Hey."

"Uh…" I waved my dad away. He left, winking at me. "Hey."

"What's up?"

I cleared my throat. "I was just wondering if you wanted to come over and hang out, maybe grab some lunch later."

I waited patiently for his reply, "Yeah, sure," he said. "I need to get out of the house anyways."

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah," he said. "James has been talking non-stop about his stupid girlfriend."

"Raquel?" I guessed.

He scoffed. "No," he said. "Some girl, Camille."

I had never talked to any Camille's before. "Is she in our grade?"

"Apparently," he said, slightly irritated. "I've seen her before but I haven't ever talked to her."

"Me neither."

Kendall was quiet for a moment. "Yeah, but anyways, is it ok if I come over right now? James's talk of Camille is torture."

I chuckled quietly. "Anything James says is usually torture, but yeah that's fine."

"Kay, see you in a few."

"Bye," I said.

"Bye." And then he hung up.

I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding and suddenly realized something- I was still wearing my pajama pants. This was a problem.

I rushed to the bathroom and threw on a shirt and some bright skinny jeans. God, I love those skinny jeans…. Anyways, I ran a comb through my hair but decided to leave it down a bit. My usual mohawk takes at least forty-five minutes to create and I was low on gel. Besides, my hair looks amazing against my skin. Just saying.

Just as I walked out of the bathroom, the buzzer… buzzed and I strolled nonchalantly to the door. This was going to be interesting with my dad around…

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><p><strong>Did ya like it?<strong>

**Best Regards (ILY),**

**Lacey**

**PS HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!**


	4. Unexpected

(Kendall POV)

As Logan opened the door to his apartment, I was struck with that feeling again. The feeling that made me just want to get closer to him. But I just shrugged it off and blamed my hormones again. He smiled at me and the feeling got stronger.

He looked different. Good different. His hair was down, which it rarely ever was, and he was wearing skinny jeans. Really nice skinny jeans that showed off his…. Legs….

I noticed someone come out of the hallway behind him. It was his dad.

"Hello, Kendall," he said cheerfully. He had this look on his face, like he knew something I didn't know. That slightly concerned me and slightly confused me, but I barely took notice of it. I was too busy looking at Logan.

Logan had opened the door wider and I stepped inside his neat little apartment. It was just as cozy and familiar as the last time I was over.

"You came here quickly," he said, shutting the door behind him. "Was James that unbearable?"

I nodded, sighing. "He was pretty bad," I said. Logan lead the way to his room and I followed him cautiously. "But now I guess he'll have to bug Katie instead."

He grinned at me and that feeling tugged at my heart strings. "I guess so," he said.

We walked into his room, the room I was so jealous of. He had his own bathroom, his own futon, his own TV, his own _huge_ bed, _and_ his own game system and surround sound speakers. Can't get any better than that.

"Guess who got the new COD game?" he asked, still grinning.

"Me?" I asked in a fakely hopeful way.

Logan just chuckled. "No, me!" He dug through his ridiculous video game shelf/drawer and pulled out what looked to me like a brand new game. He smiled and popped it into the game console. It made some weird pinging noise and flashed a bunch of different colors. A deep voice announced that this was going to be an 'epic adventure' and I could almost believe that.

We played for who knows how long before Logan's dad came into his room to 'check on us.' Which is weird because he's never checked on us when I came over last week with James and Carlos… He also said that he was going to head to work and take the only car they had so Logan and I were just going to have to stay at Logan's house for lunch. We had already sort of pigged out on a bunch of junk food and I had taken the bus to his house, so that wasn't much of a problem.

After another half hour or so, we decided to shut off the game and just sit around and do nothing. Together, we sat on his bed, with a family sized bag of potato chips that was already half empty, and just… talked. Talking to Logan was nice. He always knew what to say and when to say it and how to say it. His voice was velvety and calming. I bet he could sing real well, too, if he tried. Maybe he could try out for the play this year. Or the talent show. I don't think he knows how amazing his voice sounds. Mine sounds like nails on a chalkboard. And I'm not exaggerating.

"Kendall?" Logan said, waving his hand in front of my face. "Anyone home?"

I realized I had been completely zoning out while he was talking. "Oh, sorry," I said. "What?"

"You were just staring into space for about three consecutive minutes," he said, grinning again. He raised an eyebrow. "You need some water or something?"

I laughed nervously. "Uh, no," I said. I looked down at the chip bag. "But I do think we need another bag of chips. This one is half empty."

Logan just looks at me and takes the bag, his fingers brushing against mine. "I believe you mean this one is half full," he said.

I pulled the chip bag back. "Same difference," I said, smiling. "You optimist."

"You pessimist."

He leaned forward to grab some chips at the exact same time I did and our hands touched again. And, I know this is going to sound so sappy and unrealistic and _cliché_ but… Something happened where we both looked at each other, straight in the eyes. Logan had this weird look on his face. One that seemed like he wanted to do something more, wanted to lean in and just be close to me. I'd seen that same look before… on my face. He was feeling the same way I was.

That scared me a little.

But it also excited me.

Before I even knew what was happening, our lips were crashing together. I'm not sure if he kissed me or I kissed him or we both simultaneously kissed each other. All I knew was that we were kissing. I was kissing Logan Mitchell.

My best friend.

I suddenly pulled away. I couldn't do this. Not with him. Logan had been my best friend since he moved into this town and I couldn't just kiss him out of the blue. I… I wasn't gay. At least I didn't think so. I was so confused and had so many thought running through my head- What if we do have a relationship and something goes wrong? What if we stopped being friends? _What if someone found out?_

I hopped up of the bed, nearly pushing the chips off as well, and grabbed my jacket from his desk chair. I stuttered some lame excuse for me leaving so sudden, though I'm sure it sucked and he didn't believe me. As I hurriedly walked out of his room, I tried my best not to look at him, but I did get a glimpse of his disappointed face and his sigh. Then I was out on the street, a few blocks away from the bus stop. I had sprinted out of there like my life depended on it. Then I felt guilty. If I had just stayed there and kissed him like I knew I wanted to then I wouldn't feel so guilty. What was I supposed to do?

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><p>(Logan POV)<p>

I watched in silence as Kendall sprinted from my house muttering something along the lines of, "My laundry must be done by now. I have to go get it before it…uh.. wrinkles… and stuff."

Sighing, I placed my head in my hands and resisted the urge to cry. Today hadn't turned out the way I had planned.

Then my cell phone rang. I hoped against all hope that it was Kendall, but I knew it wasn't. It was some unknown number. I pressed talk anyways and said angrily, "What?"

"Hello," a friendly female voice said. "Is this Logan Mitchell?"

"Uh," I said, not recognizing the voice. "Who is this?"

"This is Kelly from PalmWoods Hospital," she said.

"What happened?"

"There's been an emergency. You need to come to the hospital as soon as possible."

That did not answer my question. "What. Happened?" I repeated.

"It's your father."

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><p><strong>*Gasp* What's wrong with Logan's father?<strong>

**REVIEW!**

**Best Regards,**

**Lacey**


	5. Tears

**So I think I need a beta reader, so if anyone is willing to be mine, can you PM me please? I'm begging...**

**ChelziSchmidtXD and I are working on writing a fic together. It may be posted soon. Keep your eye out for it. The title is probably going to be 'Because Of You' and it will be posted on my profile.**

**ENJOY!**

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><p>(Kendall POV)<p>

I was standing at the bus stop, furious with myself for being an idiot back at Logan's place. _Stupid, stupid, stupid, _I thought. I had definitely _wanted_ to kiss Logan, but I _couldn't_. My brain said it was weird and wrong, but my gut and my heart and all the other parts of my body said that kissing Logan was so right and perfect.

I was so confused.

I heard someone coming up to the bus stop. I turned slowly, still slightly lost in thought, and saw none other than Logan. I thought he was coming back so he could talk to me and sort things out, but then I saw the look on his face. He seemed frantic and scared out of his mind. _Is that because of _me? I thought.

When he made it to my spot, I tried to talk to him without stuttering like a moron. "Um, Logan," I began, not sure what to say. "Look, I'm sorry about what happened at your house and I should have just stayed so we could talk about…" I paused as I realized he wasn't listening to me. Logan was looking over my shoulder, for the bus I assume, and he kept opening his cell phone and looking down at it like it would give him all the answers to the universe. "Logan," I said, snapping my fingers in front of his face. He turned to me but said nothing, just continued to look scared. "What? Are you just not gonna talk to me anymore?" I asked.

Finally, he spoke to me, "Sorry, Kendall but there's an emergency and really need to get to the hosp-"

"What happened?" I asked, cutting him off.

He carefully and quickly explained how, just after I ran out of there, he got a call from the hospital saying there was an emergency and his father was hurt in some way. He had hung up before the receptionist got to tell him what happened.

I felt so bad for him. His best friend kisses him then runs away, and then his dad has to go to the hospital. Somehow, I felt like all of this was my fault. Don't ask me why, because I don't know, but I just got a feeling in the pit of my stomach that if I had just kissed him and stayed, then none of this would've happened.

"I'll come with you," I said as the bus pulled up and people started crowding into it.

For a second, I thought he would say no, but he just nodded and headed toward the bus. We climbed on together and took a seat near the back. Logan had his eyes closed and was breathing slowly. I could tell he was worried sick, literally. He was pale and clammy. But, I'm pretty sure anyone would if they had a day like his.

About ten minutes later we were still a few miles away from the hospital and Logan was getting antsy. "Can this bus get any slower?" he muttered.

I looked forward to the bus driver then got up, leaving Logan to look at me questioningly. At the next stop, I tapped the bus driver's shoulder and he turned around in his seat. "Excuse me," I said politely. "Do you think you could go any faster?"

He scoffed. "Listen, kid," he said gruffly. "I know you're probably late to one of your stupid teenage parties and whatnot, but this old hunk of junk won't go any faster."

That kind of pissed me off. Not all teenagers were stupid party animals … only most of them were.

"No, you listen," I said angrily. "My best friend's dad is in the hospital and we don't know why. That's a bit of situation, y'know? So, unless you can find me some other way to get to PalmWoods General Hospital in the next fifteen minutes, I'm going to keep bugging you about it!"

He looked mildly angry, but also a little… impressed? He nodded slowly. "I like you, kid," he said. "You're tryin' to help out your friend and I understand where you're coming from. I'll try and speed it up a bit."

"Thank you," I said breathlessly. Then I turned and walked back to Logan who still looked confused and scared. The bus started to move again, and it was going faster.

He raised an eyebrow. "What was that about?" he asked.

I just shrugged. "Nothing. Just told the bus driver to speed up a little."

Both his eyebrows went up now. "Really?"

"Yeah."

He looked at me and his eyes softened. "Thanks," he said.

"No problem."

We both fell into a strained silence. I could tell he was going through all of the different scenarios as to how his dad got into the hospital. His face was a little twisted up and he looked just about ready to cry. I looked at him for a few more seconds. He didn't notice; he was staring out the window. I silently reached out and took his hand in mine. I wanted some way to tell him that everything would be fine and I would always be there for him, but I wasn't sure how to put that into words. To me, the easiest way to tell him that he wasn't alone was to take his hand and never let go until we were in the hospital.

He didn't look at me or say anything, but he squeezed my hand and I knew he understood what I was trying to say, and that he was thanking me for doing so.

At the next stop, I realized that the bus driver was making people get on quicker. He was ushering people around and herding them into random seats, sometimes complaining that they were going too slow. I smiled a little. It was kind of entertaining.

Eventually, and faster than I thought it would take, Logan and I were at the receptionist's desk at the hospital.

"Hello," she said. Her voice was nasally and she sounded snotty. "How may I help you?" she asked in a way that sound more like 'What the hell do you want?'

"I'm Logan Mitchell," Logan said. "I got a call about a half hour ago saying that my father was here."

She looked bored and was chewing her gum like one of those hairdressers, snapping it incessantly. Her name tag read 'Hello! My name is _Leah_.' Even her name sounded snotty. "What's your father's last name?"

Logan sighed and said quite impatiently, "_MITCHELL_."

"Well," she said clicking her pen over, and over, and over again. Logan felt to grab it from her grasp and chuck it across the room. "If you're gonna be a little asshole then I'm not letting you see anybody."

Logan slammed his hands down on her desk, making her nearly jump out of her skin and causing a few people to look our way. "Listen, bitch," he said, fuming. "If you don't let me see my dad, who may or may not be on the brink of death, then I will take that damn pen and stab you with it repeatedly until you either bleed out and die, or _beg _to die. You understand me?"

Leah nodded. "He's in room 305. Just go down the hall, up three sets of stairs, and then it's the seventh door on the left; you can't miss it," she said quickly.

Logan smirked. "I would say thank you," he began. "But I shouldn't have to thank you for doing your damn _job_."

She nodded, looking pale. Her pen was lying on her desk now.

Logan and I walked away. I was a little surprised at Logan for snapping at the receptionist like that. He never got that angry… not around me at least. But then I realized that this was his _dad_ we were talking about and he had a damn right to be angry at the bitchy girl who wouldn't let him see his dad.

Logan took the stairs two at a time surprisingly, he _did_ have long legs, being all tall and stuff but he was a pretty lazy boy nonetheless. I was actually slightly struggling to keep up. Maybe it was all the hockey we played.

We reached room 409 and Logan didn't bother knocking or anything, he just pushed the door open.

I came up behind him and saw someone lying in a white bed. That person had cuts and blood and bandages all over him. It was definitely Logan's dad, but not the same person I remembered from just a few hours ago.

Logan walked over to him and sat down on one of the two chairs sitting next to the bed. I took the one next to him. He sighed and looked down at his dad with I look that made my heart clench. He was obviously trying to keep himself together.

Suddenly, there was a series of loud, fast beeping noises and a bunch of nurses came running in. They hardly took any notice of Logan or me. One did, however. He looked at us and said, "Guys, you can't be in here right now."

One of the nurses turned around and looked at Logan. I recognised her as Lucy, who lived a few houses down from Logan's apartment. I didn't realize she was a nurse in _this _hospital.

"Mark," she said, scolding. "That's his son, just let him stay, alright?"

The man she called Mark muttered, "Fine, whatever. But if he gets in the way, he's out of here."

The doctors carefully turned Logan's dad onto his back. And right there, in the center of his back, probably on his spine, was a huge, bleeding gash. I heard Logan inhale sharply. He turned around and practically ran out of the room. I followed him.

I found him sitting against the wall near the door with his knees pulled up to his chest. He looked pale and sick and naseous. I sat next to him and he sighed. Not sure what to say to make him feel better, or if I could make him feel better at all, I put my arm around him and he put his head on my shoulder, breathing deeply. I noticed that he was choked up, but wasn't crying yet. That took real strength. To see your father, lying face down, with a huge gash in his back and still manage to hold in your tears was incredible to me. I knew Logan was hurting, but I think he was trying to be strong for his father's sake. I know Logan well enough to realize that he thinks that if he doesn't cry or complain about it, then whatever it was he was upset about would go away.

That's not always true.

About ten minutes later, Lucy came in and said she wanted to talk to us in Logan's dad's room. We all walked in together and Logan and I sat down in the same seats we had sat in the first time we were in the room. All of the other nurses and doctors had left.

Lucy sighed and looked like she had to tell us something, but really didn't want to.

"Logan," she said kindly. "Your dad was in an accident on his way home from work."

I tuned out then, looking cautiously at Logan. His eyes got filled with more and more tears as Lucy continued to speak. I got small parts of what she was saying, "Spinal injury," "critical condition," "may not make it." Then she said she would leave Logan and his dad alone for a while.

She left and I got up to follow her, but Logan caught my arm and pulled me back down to my seat. "Please stay," he said with a cracking voice.

I sat quietly and watched Lucy close the door behind her.

Almost as soon as the door clicked into place, Logan crumbled. He put his face in his hands and sobbed these heart wrenching sobs that made me shed a few tears. I quickly swept them away. I didn't want Logan to see me cry, too. That would just make it worse for him.

"I can't lose another parent," he said. His voice was nothing more than a raspy whisper. I felt my heart clench again.

"Logan," I said gently, rubbing his back. "You know how strong your dad is. He's stronger than anyone I know." _Besides you,_ I thought. "He's a fighter. He'll pull through."

Logan looked at me, his flawless skin now stained with tears. "You said the same thing when my mom was in the hospital," he said, still crying. "And now she's gone."

As awful as it may sound, I didn't truly think his dad would make it. Spinal injuries were really serious… and really fatal. I didn't have the heart to tell him what I really thought, and I didn't know any other way to reassure him, so I brought him closer to me and hugged him. I held him tight to me and didn't let go.

I didn't know what else to do, so I just sat there hugging him and letting him cry until he eventually calmed down. I think that was all I could do at that moment.

Just be there and hold him.

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><p><strong>This is probably the longest chapter I've written for this story. I'm so proud of myself.<strong>

**Please Review!**

**Best Regards,**

**Lacey**


	6. Hands

**Heeeeyy! New chapter of Change is up!**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>(Logan POV)<p>

I continued crying until I trusted my voice enough to speak. "Kendall?" I asked softly. My voice was still cracking and raspy, which just made me feel worse. "Can we go now?"

Kendall looked at me kindly, but not in a pitying way, like the looks I got from most people. "Sure," he said. "Where to?"

I thought about that for a moment. I didn't want to go to my house and I sure as hell didn't want to stay at the hospital, so I simply said, "Anywhere."

To me, his reaction was slightly unexpected. He didn't look at me like I was crazy but he nodded and suggested we go to his house so I could 'clean up.' When I looked at him questioningly, he gestured to the small mirror in the bathroom next to my dad's bed. I got up, walked over to the mirror, and gasped. My eyes were red and puffy and my hair lost its sheen. I never let myself get like that, unless I'm in the privacy of my own home.

I felt something at my hand, and I realized it was Kendall. He was holding my hand again. I smiled inwardly. "C'mon," he said, tugging my hand. "Let's go."

I just followed him and walked down the hallway to the bottom of the stairs. He still hadn't let go of my hand, and if it had been any other day of my life I would've grinned like an idiot. But my hand in his didn't send as much of a thrill as it might've if my dad hadn't been dying.

We met Lucy near the exit. She had her purse and backpack so I assumed she was on her way home, too.

"Hey guys," she said. She raised her eyebrows a little when she saw that Kendall and I were holding hands. I felt Kendall's hand leave mine, and I have to say, that kind of hurt. Of all of the days in his lifetime, he chose that certain day not to be there for me. "Do you two want a ride?" Lucy offered.

Kendall looked to me, but I didn't acknowledge him. I just nodded and the three of us headed out the door. I heard Kendall sigh behind me, but I tried not to think about it much. I really wanted to take his hand again, but I was sure he would just pull it away, and I couldn't take much more before I burst into tears again.

The ride to Kendall's house was slow, silent, and ridiculously awkward. I could tell Lucy was preoccupied with driving and looking in the rear-view mirror to check on me, and Kendall was busy trying to get me to look at him, so I ignored him and just stared aimlessly out the window and tried as hard as I could to get the image of my dad out of my head. It was terrible to look at.

Eventually, we made it to Kendall's house in one piece. Lucy said goodbye to us both and gave me one of those bone-crushing hugs that women always give. I think she meant to make me feel better, but she really just made my back hurt.

After she left, I walked into Kendall's house without even turning to look at him. He sighed again, but it made me feel awful. I knew I should've just talked to him and sorted things out, but after all that had happened that day, I didn't want to talk to anyone about anything.

Kendall followed me to his room, but I veered right and went straight into the bathroom. I probably looked really terrible.

Then, I heard a garage door open and realized that it was probably Kendall's parents. I knew that his dad usually got home at about this time, because whenever I came over after school, he was home in about ten minutes.

I turned to the mirror and stared at my complexion for a good five minutes, feeling nothing. I turned on the sink and splashed water on my face, hoping for something, anything good to happen.

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><p>(Kendall POV)<p>

As I was walking out of my room, I ran smack into someone. I figured it was Logan, but when I looked up, it was my dad.

He seemed just as confused as I was. "Hello, Kendall," he said, looking at his watch. "You're home early."

"Uh," I stammered. "Yeah, well, Logan had a, uh," I paused again, thinking about how I could possibly put the situation into words. "Logan had a _situation _at home, so we decided to come here."

My dad appeared to be thinking about something and I didn't even know if he was listening to me. "Which one is Logan again?" he asked. I sighed. My dad was always getting my friends mixed up, which generally confused me because I only had two friends. And they were completely different from each other. My dad looked at me long and hard. "Is Logan the one with the glasses?" he asked. I didn't even know who _that_ was. He was probably was thinking of one of Katie's friends.

"No, he-"

Dad cut me off, "Oh, he's the queer one, right?"I winced at the word 'queer.' It seemed like an odd way to describe Logan, though it was completely accurate. My dad could've said 'homosexual' or 'gay' But, no, he chose 'queer; so I just nodded my head.

He looked like he was about to say something else but stopped and looked over my shoulder at something. I turned around and saw Logan, all cleaned up, walking down the hallway.

"Hello there, Logan," my dad said, smiling.

Logan nodded curtly at him, looking pissed at me and depressed about life in general.

"If you don't mind me asking," Dad began. "What happened that made you two come here? Kendall said you had a situ-"

"-Dad! I really need to talk to you about something," I interrupted. I hadn't been very helpful to Logan in the past hour, and I thought the least I could do was explain what happened so he didn't have to. "It's really _really_ important," I added.

My dad looked even more confused now, but he nodded and walked towards the library. I looked back at Logan and he mouthed 'thank you' to me. I smiled and followed my dad.

When we got to the library, he looked at me suspiciously. "Kendall," he said. "What's going on?"

I quickly and quietly explained to him what happened to Logan's dad. He didn't say or do much, but he nodded a lot. When I was finished, he suggested calmly that Logan stay the night, which was not what I was expecting at all. He didn't take much interest in my friends, most of the time anyways, but I guess today was different… because of Logan's dad.

My dad went and got Logan an extra toothbrush and some sweat pants. Logan looked grateful to stay at my house, but he didn't say so. I could see it in his eyes that he was still very upset. Anyone would be upset.

We went into my room and sat on my dinky little bed. He still wasn't looking at me, and it was making me hate myself. I should've sucked it up and held his damn hand, just like I should've kissed him back at his house. That seemed like days ago, when, in reality, it was only a few hours.

"Logan," I said gently. "I know this is probably the last thing on your mind, but I really want to apologize for the way I was acting back there…"

He finally looked at me and I nearly sighed when I saw how vulnerable he looked. He seemed like a kicked puppy. "It's ok, really," he said. "I'm not mad. I actually understand how you feel right now," he went on. I loved the sound of his voice… "You don't want to admit that you're gay and I know-"

"Whoa, wait," I said. He raised a startled eyebrow at me and I continued. "I'm not… _gay_. It's just my hormones messing with my head." Immediately I knew I had said the wrong thing.

Logan was genuinely surprised and hurt that I had said something like that. "Kendall, you're in denial," he said angrily. "How could this have anything to do with your hormones?"

I stuttered, thinking. There was no way to make any sense of what I had just said, so I shrugged and looked at the floor.

"Look," he said, his voice sounding gentler this time. "I know exactly how you feel, but you're going to have to face the truth eventually."

I shrugged again, emitting a sigh from Logan.

"Actually," he said. "Can we not talk about this right now? I kinda just want to sit around and do nothing." I nodded, knowing what he meant. He thought for a moment before asking, "If I cry again, will you still hold my hand?"

"Of course," I said, after much debate. And I felt so ashamed of myself for being awful and stubborn. I could tell that he was just trying to help me, and that he liked me, but thinking of being gay was too much for me at the moment. I wanted to sit around and do nothing, too. And I had just the right person to do nothing with.

**Hope you guys liked it :D **

**Please review!**

**Best regards,**

**Lacey**


	7. Sleep

**I got a review on my other story Burger Boy from a xXpedobearXx or Hunter..I really don't know. I think it's the same person. Anyway, he said that I need to update more often. I felt really bad so I'm gonna try to update faster. you guys need to thank this person. He is the reason that I'm gonna try to update faster. **

**ENJOY!**

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><p>(Logan POV)<p>

"No, really," I said for the third time. "I'll just sleep on the floor."

"Logan," Kendall said firmly. "You've had a bad day. Now you're going to sleep in my bed and I'll sleep on the floor. "

"But-"

"Go."

I sighed and muttered, "Fine." He had already done enough for me by letting me stay over at his house. It felt weird to sleep in his bed while he was on the floor. But, he was right. I'd had a bad day and arguing with him would just make it worse.

I sat down on the bed and closed my eyes when he turned off the light. I saw his dull shadowy outline cross the room and lay down on top of a bundle of blankets and pillows on the floor.

I started thinking about my dad again. Involuntarily, of course. It was hard not to think of him when my mind had finally calmed down and I was trying to sleep. I always thought of bad things before I went to sleep, which usually meant that I had terrible nightmares about whatever it was that I had been thinking about.

It was so unfair. My dad was such a good person. He didn't deserve this. Not after what happened to my mom… That's just too much for one person to handle.

I felt dampness on my cheeks. I was crying… _again_. I swept away my tears and tried in vain to keep quiet.

"Logan?" I heard Kendall say.

I knew that if I spoke, my voice would crack and it would give me away. "Hmm?"

Kendall was silent for a minute and for a second I thought he hadn't heard me. Then I heard a quiet, "You're crying again." He said it as a statement, not a question.

Damn it.

I tried not to sniffle like a little kid who lost their puppy, but I did anyways. I heard a ruffling of sheets and pillows then saw Kendall's shadow again. I felt the bed move under a new weight and noticed that Kendall was sitting on his bed, beside me.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked kindly. "Maybe that'll help you feel better."

I just shook my head and buried my face in my pillow. He wasn't giving up though.

"You sure?" he asked.

I sighed and sat up to face him. It warmed my heart to see him look concerned for my well-being. The only other time he had had that look on his face was when my mother had died and we were at her funeral. He was crying then, too, but only because he really knew my mom.

"I don't know," I said. "If I talk about it too much then I'll just break down and cry again."

"And I'll hold your hand again."

I looked at him in silence. Things were still pretty awkward between us. And I was still pretty pissed at him for dropping my hand like it was on fire at the hospital.

"Kendall, I…" I was going to say that I didn't want to talk about it, but I stopped myself. Maybe he was right. Maybe talking about it would make me feel better. "I'm scared," I said instead.

His expression didn't change much, but I thought I saw a hint of surprise flash through his blue eyes. It might've been my imagination, though. It was dark at the time.

"Care to elaborate?" he asked.

I wasn't sure how. There was a lot on my mind at that moment, so I simply spoke my mind. My _entire_ mind. "What am I going to do if I lose my dad?"I said quietly. "How will I pay for college? Where will I live? How could I possibly deal with that?" My voice cracked a little but Kendall remained silent so I continued. "And what if he does live? I'm sure medical bills will be through the roof and he'll need to be taken care of and have physical therapy and…" I paused, taking a deep breath. "And I don't know what to do."

Kendall was quiet for a minute or two before he said softly, "I wish I could help you more." He bit his lip and looked down at his bed. "You know that you're always welcome to stay at my place," he said. "But I don't think that makes up for the way I've been acting."

I shook my head. "That's not important anymore."

"No, Logan," he said. He somehow found my hands in the darkness and squeezed them. "You need to know that I really like you, but I'm confused right now. I truly am sorry for the way I've treated you today and I feel awful about it. I'm not sure how to apologize for my behavior but I will say this- I'm always here for you and if you ever need anything, anything at all, don't hesitate to call me." As he finished speaking, he looked up at me and his features changed into a somewhat startled expression. "Please don't cry," he whispered. "You'll make me cry."

"I'm not crying," I said.

Kendall reached up and drew the pad of his thumb over my cheek. When he held it up again, it was wet. I touched the tips of my fingers to my other cheek. It was wet, too. Kendall put his hand over top of mine and grasped it tightly. I knew what he was going to do before he even did it, and I braced myself as he pressed his lips against mine in a whisper of a kiss. It was longer and sweeter than the one earlier that day. This time, when Kendall pulled away, he didn't freak out or run away- he just smiled at me.

"I wanted to try that again," he said shyly. "See if it helped clear my head a bit."

"Did it?" I asked.

"I don't know," he answered. Even in the dimness of his room, I could tell that he was blushing. "Maybe we should try again."

I didn't answer him, not with words anyway. I squeezed his hand harder and leaned into him again. Our lips were just about to touch…

When someone knocked on his door.

Kendall visibly tensed and I sighed. "Just ignore it," I whispered, but the person at the door knocked again, louder and more insistent.

I felt Kendall pull away from me as he said, "Come in."

Then, in walked James Diamond - Moment killer.

"Yo, Kendall," he said loudly. "I need to copy, I mean _borrow_, your English essay."

"James," Kendall said exasperatedly. "I haven't even done it yet."

"Well, that doesn't mean you can't…." I heard James pause. "Hey Logan!" he said, even louder. I began to wonder if he was intoxicated or something. "I didn't know you were comin' over!"

"Yeah," I said. "Me neither."

James thought for a moment. "Do _you_ have your essay?" he asked, his words slurring together. Yep, he was drunk.

"Nah, sorry," I said.

"Oh damn," he said. "Well, I gotta go. Camille wanted me to call her when I got home to make sure I was okay. She thinks I'm drunk or something and I was like 'Bitch, I am _not_ drunk!' But I didn't actually call her a bitch because that would just get me slapped and not in the good way, if you know what I mean."

"James," Kendall said before he could continue rambling. "Leave."

"Okay, Mr. Bossy-Pants," James said. He turned and began to walk out of the room, but he stopped with his hand on the doorknob. "Oh, and Kendall," he asked.

"What?"

James grinned like an idiot. "I _looooove_you," he said, choking on giggles. The he stumbled out of the room, closing the door behind him and engulfing us in darkness once more.

Kendall shook his head at the door. "When he pukes," he muttered. "I'm _not_cleaning it up."

That made me genuinely smile for the first time that day.

"So," I said, eyeing the clock. It was nearly two in the morning. We had been talking for hours. "I think I'm going to try to go to sleep."

Kendall looked at the clock as well and his eyes grew a little bit wider. "Me, too," he said.

"And uh," I said. I cleared my throat. "Thanks for listening to me."

He smiled. "Anytime." He moved to get off the bed and head back to the floor, but I caught his wrist and pulled him back to me.

"Wait," I said. "One more thing."

"What is it?" he asked, concerned.

I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his one last time. I wanted to end the night in a good way and go to sleep thinking about him.

"Goodnight Kendall."

"Goodnight Logan."

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><p><strong>James is an idiot. Yes I know.<strong>

**I think it's really strange that this story and Burger Boy were posted at the same time, yet Burger Boy has wayyyy more reviews! **

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**Best Regards,**

**Lacey**


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